Is Your Cat a Poet?

Every cat is special—they all have their unique perspectives on the world around them. Some cats excel at sports, others at solving crimes. Some write poetry.

Here are a few ways to determine if the cat you live with is harboring poetic ambitions.

Is your cat a paradox of fastidiousness?
Personal cat hygiene can seem a contradiction of the creative nature. Although they tend toward vanity, many creative types are notoriously lackadaisical when it comes to personal appearance. Poetic cats, on the other hand, often will spend hours grooming. However, they don’t flinch at dragging remnants of litter through their household and they generally do not put their toys away.

Does your cat embrace the malaise?
It is well documented that a feeling of ill-being often brings about an overwhelming desire to sleep. Yet conversely, brilliance shines only when well rested. Einstein reportedly took naps frequently, claiming that he couldn’t possibly deal with complex concepts when his mind was begging for rest. Creatives find their work very taxing. When drafting a 3-line poem, such as Haiku, it is not unusual for a cat to require a five-hour nap before, after, and sometimes during. It’s best to leave cats alone during these moments of creative recuperation.

Is your cat susceptible to ennui?
Creatives are easily bored, not because they dislike their surroundings, but because they are constantly seeking inspiration. Be prepared to witness a poetic cat veer from string to food to open window to word processor in a fleeting matter of moments. The best advice here is to keep the creative mind stimulated.

Does your cat seek instant gratification?
Everyone likes to be rewarded for their accomplishments. But the fact is, cats (like most other creatives) are whores. Give them something special to eat. They’ll be very productive for about five minutes. (See Malaise above.)

What is your cat’s position on humans?
Some cats are extremely passionate about their humans, while others are quite aloof. But the most creative of cats recognizes that the sole purpose of humans is to serve cats—their every whim, their every fancy, their every Fancy Feast. Humans should be at the ready to transcribe cat poetry whenever the mood may strike the cat. If your cat takes every advantage of you, he or she is probably a poet at heart.

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